High School says I'm stupid

Only high school can make you feel like an idiot. Even when you're taking almost all honors and AP classes, getting great SAT scores, being well-known among adults as an intelligent and capable teenager, and making pretty good decisions in your life.

"Nope," high school says, "you're stupid."

"You're supposed to write this type of essay for your college applications: Make it a fun story, but not a generic story like service trips and sports. Make sure its lighthearted, unless you're a serious person. But don't be too serious, the readers get really bored with serious essays and they won't like you if they read something like that. You have to fit exactly who you are as a person, and it has to be a good person, in five hundred words, and it has to be better than anyone else in the country's. Make sure you start months in advance, doing a draft every night, and having everyone you know and love on planet Earth read and check it for you and make sure it's adequate.
Then submit it. Maybe. If the school is looking for that sort of thing.
And remember: College is all about your decisions, not theirs."

.......

"But high school," I say, "nobody's perfect. I wrote my fourth version of a college essay, and it wasn't too hilarious, but it did explain to colleges the quirks I have, and what I think about them. I told them about my determination and ambition, and how I'm excited for the college experience. Is that good enough?"

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"High school?..... Youu still there?"
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"Ooook.... I definitely feel done with this essay. It's good enough, and I don't want to work on it anymore. I've only got a certain amount of time left anyways. So... here goes," and I submit the essay.

"WAAIIITTT!!!" Here comes High School, careening out of its nap, "Did you talk to a counselor first?!?!"

....."Damnit High School!!!! Why didn't you wake up and tell me that earlier!!!"

"I did. I told you to show it to everyone you know on Planet Earth."

"YOU COULD HAVE BEEN MORE SPECIFIC!!!"

"Oh... well.... sorry. But you'd better hope and pray that your essay's going to beat everyone else's in the country now. It's probably not good enough. You don't work well under all this pressure. Poor thing. Have some more homework."

"Thanks for the extra pressure of the homework and the... the... college...pressure....added..."

"You aren't very eloquent, are you? Tsk tsk tsk. I hope the colleges didn't notice."

At this point, I'm boiling mad, but maybe High School is right. Maybe I didn't actually do well enough... What if I was supposed to send it to more people than just my parents and my friends who know me well in order to look it over... I mean, my mom only graduated with a communications degree... and all four of them know me well...

But it was too serious. It wasn't stand-outish enough. Or was it?

And what about this supplement essay I'm wanting to send? It's about a service trip... does it answer the prompt well enough? Should I rewrite it all over again even though I had to sacrifice doing nearly all my homework just to get it done? There's no one around to check it either, and I don't have English class tomorrow.... I ought to just rewrite it....

But I can't rewrite what I've already submitted....

"It's not too late! Have people check it again," High School chimes in above my thoughts.

"It's too late, dingbat. I already submitted it. I can't make any changes anymore."

"Well, you're screwed then. Have fun while I go favorite all of these other students who are better than you... No offense. You're great the way you are."

"....Sure. I believe you.... have fun while I wallow in self-doubt and denial"

The problem is, I believe every word he says. High School taught me how to read Shakespeare, how to do Algebra... He's been by my side for four years now. I've got to trust he knows what he's talking about, right??

....My essay should've been perfect. Now I fail at life and I'm never going to college.

Isn't that ironic? There's nothing like High School to make you feel like you're not ready for college....
maybe I'm not as clever as I thought I was...

I guess High School didn't teach me enough about doing everything I'm supposed to do....

~Rachel~